| Thought of the Day [15.07.2009] |
[Jul. 15th, 2009|09:00 pm] |
[15.07.2009]
"Jafar, Did You See The Accused Steal A Mobile Phone?"
We all know of Aladdin, right? That lovely Disney film which has its ups and downs and comes to a nice ending where everything is all nice and fine. And then got soiled down to stupid sequels which Family Guy did a fantastic take off of. But it seems that its not all as innocent as it seems. Im not talking about that urban legend where you can apparently hear someone telling boys to take there shirts off in the film. No im talking about real life, people. Not cartoons or a pedo in the sound mixing booth. For you see a family in Saudi Arabia has taken a genie to court. Now what could the Genie have done? He was a nice guy! He made people laugh! Well not this one [Though im sure its the same one and he's just pissed off he hasnt had any work in such a long time] For this one has apparently left threatening voicemails, stole the peoples mobile phones and hurled rocks at them when they leave there house at night. So there saying this genie has been ruling the house for a couple of years now. But the thing is instead of just moving [Which they have done temporaraly] they are suing a sentient being. HOW CAN YOU SUE A FUCKING SPIRIT? I mean seriously how is that going to work? I mean how can they even prove it was the genie? Anyone could throw rocks at them in the dark, anyone could leave messages, anyone could steal from them. I mean what did the voicemails actually say? 'WoooOOOoooOOOHH IM GUNNA CUT YOU BITCH WITH MY SPIRIT KNIFE'?! Maybe if they actually had the tapes to prove it was a spirit then I'd believe them. A bit like that White Noise film I guess. I mean for all they know there neighbors just hate them and so are playing mindgames with them. Stranger things have happened. Like me getting some on a regular basis.
Possibly The Best Shoes Ever
So its been a while since I last bought some shoes. A pair of Black Vans. Great shoes but to say they've got a bit tatty is quite an understatement. So the hunt was on for new shoes which I liked but also were very me. And to say that the shoes ive bought are exceedingly me is a massive understatement. But yeah when I saw these shoes I was just like DAAAAYMN DO WANT. And they wernt that pricey either. Very nais. Anyway let me show you because they are now in my hands. Well, Feet.
Hellll yeah. Eccentric? Check. Tattered around the edges? Check. There just like a shoe version of me. Apart from im sure they dont whine as much. Anyway yes nice style and all that jazz. But as I said, im sure they dont whine as much as me. Because whine I shall! Firstly when they were coming by Courier I was like AWESOME. So I unfortunately had to get up exceedingly early to wait in. I was playing The Moviies. You know, that underrated PC game. Anyway he didnt come till I was watching the bloody new Nostalgia Critic at like 1:20. But there was a bit of weirdness that happened. Cos I saw these people collecting stupid catalogue books and then I saw the van. So I went downstairs and my bloody courier was talking to the catalogue man. So the man points out im actually standing there and he comes over, asks my initial and hands me my shoes. But he didnt ask me to sign. Why? Well he was in a rush, probably. That and the fact that this man was bloody talking to him. So later when I finally finished re lacing the one shoe I checked online. And what happened? He bloody forged my signature!
What a cheeky fucking bastard. Anyway. The Shoes = Awesome. Good times.
Video Day!
It feels like just yesterday it was Monday but nope, the days have rolled on by and now we're on Wednesday. Im glad im on holiday but daymn. I need stimulation of some kind. Well alright I think we all know i'd prefer sexual but that wont be happening any time soon unless my monitor turns into a woman . . . Well, it didnt transform. Fuck. Anyway the summer of videos continues with new material. First off as mentioned we have the brand new Nostalgia Critic and after last weeks disappointing slodge we have a brilliant video, thusly showing that he is best when he's hatin. And whats he hating on this week? A film from 1996 called Barb Wire. Which apparently is a comic book adaptation and along with Steel he looked at tother week it shows that very little of good can come from that genre. The main actress is Pamela Anderson so you know that the film is going to be full of shit acting and tits. But hay. At least it got tits! From reading on imdb apparently she lost her child whilst filming this film. That must've been bad. Making a shit film and loosing a child because you were making it. Well at least 13 years on we can laugh about it. Right? RIGHT!? [Thatguywiththeglasses.com] Then we've got our weekly slice of critic with the new Zero Punctuation. Now this week he reviewed a game I didnt know of. Which is both a good and a bad sign because it means I get to see fresh rage but also that im falling out of the gaming scene somewhat. The game is called Overlord 2 and the review is funny as usual. Theres a couple of standout moments but its just a normal episode. Run of the mill. Nothing wrong with that though, its still bloody fun. [escapistmagazine.com] I think its become apparent that the new AVGN episodes are now actually being posted a day later, meaning fuck. Means I cant talk about them which is a shame cos there mostly solid. So you'll have to manually look at his site. But he has done another video in his 'You Know Whats Bullshit?' series which is epic win. I dont want to give it away but fuck the thing thats being worn at the end ... just amazing. So check it now for that and tomorrow for the fuckin' nerd [cinemassacre.com]
An Orgasm A Day Keeps The Doctor Away
Dont you love the NHS! Well alright no, there pretty bad in all honesty what with there dirty hospitals and stuff. BUT I have found a brand new respect for them. Why? Well there new pamphlet apparently gives a lot of fantastic advice. So much so it sounds like it was written by me at 2 in the morning whilst I drink coke and fizzy cola bottles. Whats it saying? Well its saying school pupils have the right to an enjoyable sex life and regular sex is good. Alright sure. It then says how an orgasm a day keeps the doctor away. Why? Well [this made me laugh so much] 'Health promotion experts advocate fiver portions of fruit and veg a day and 30 minutes physical activity 3 times a week. What about sex or masturbation twice a week?'. YES! YOU SAY IT NHS! WE SHOULD BE BEATING THE MEET AT LEAST 3 TIMES A WEEK! Fantastic advice. Anyway some people are being really rather shitty about the whole thing, as is to be expected. One head teacher said the leaflets were deplorable. But the thing is he recently introduced classes in 'emotional wellbeing' so obviously he's a massive twat anyone. When I imagine this Anthony Seldon I imagine someone like Gordon Brittas [Sandwich goes to anyone who gets that reference]. But basically this is great news for all of us! It means we can literally say we are orgasming for our own health. Now I just need someone to be physical with and then I shall be a healthy fucker.
I Dont See Me Being Healthy Any Time Soon . . .
-micster x
P.S - No proper Thoughtings tomorrow for I am out [I know, wat] But they'll be an intro Thoughtings by Sora2522 as he is a new Thoughtings regular, but hasnt really been introduced to ye. |
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| Thought of the Day [14.07.2009] |
[Jul. 14th, 2009|09:00 pm] |
[14.07.2009]
"No This Isnt Soulja Boy, You Pricks"
You know whos shit? Soulja Boy. Now im not saying that to be controversial or anything, he quite literally is fucking awful and whoever gave the talentless prick a record deal needs to be punished. I suggest using anal torture as an effective measure. Anyway im not saying that just because I despise the genre he's in, im saying it because even if I liked that genre [Which would be one fucking strange paradoxical world] I'd still hate him. He just emits shit rays from his voice. Anyway he has a song out at the moment called 'Kiss me through the phone' and yes its as shit as it sounds. Ridiculous bollocks. Anyway apparently in the song he says a number. If you ring it in America then you get a personalized message from him. Aw how nice. But if you ring it in Manchester then you end up phoning two older persons. Yes because of some cruel twist these two people have been getting about 60 calls a day from fans. Anyway these fans sound like freaks. Some of them sing down the phone, some think these two people must have a special connection to him and even wonder if when the woman answers the phone she must be his girlfriend. But trust me if you've seen the video report then fucking lol no. This is the thing though - Anyway if I was still in school and we were all a bit crazy before Psychology then we'd probably phone up the number like we did with Scientology. But I cannae be bothered. But you could phone them if you want. You never know it could be quite entertaining, or like in the news vid they'd just say they arnt him and hang up. The number is 6789998212 so add a 0 to the beginning and theres a UK phone number. I feel a bit sorry for them that they are getting rung up at like 3am because its not there fault. Realllly Soulja Boy should give them money. Or they should just stab him. MANCHESTER PRIDE!
Cosplayer Sex
Now I know what 99% of you are thinking right now when you see that title. You probably think ive gone insane. Well actually your probably thinking that im just showing my true colors and talking about an interesting subject. Well your both right to some degree. The main reason though is I havent got a lot to talk about today and I didnt want to just write about four insane news stories. So instead im bringing up a subject which has gone through my mind many a time. So lets begin. Now Cosplayers are strange things, arnt they. It seems theres hardly any middle ground. They are either super fat and repulsive or thin and attractive. And then occasionally you get the sort of situation when there a bit chubby but not that bad looking you'd say no. But you have to be careful with Cosplayers because there age isnt always obvious, which is a lesson J learned in May. SARCASTIC EL OH EL. But ive got a couple of examples of these attractive ones and alright ones. Firstly this.
First thought. HOLY FUCKING SHIT. Second thought. DAT ASS. I mean why would someone like that cosplay, in public no less. I mean cosplay usually attracts fat people and/or obese 40somethings dressing up as Sailor Moon who you wouldnt be surprised to see on To Catch A Predator. Anyway secondly theres this video which is thin and somewhat attractive. Also I challenge you to watch it from start to end without looking at the jiggly tits. Its impossible. Also I suggest pressing the full screen button. You'll go insane but it'd be worth it.
Anyway if you had sex with a cosplayer theres many thing you've got to think. For example, would you do them whilst in costume? I mean I can understand the attraction in wanting to have sex with someone who looks like Eva from Metal Gear Solid 3 but wouldnt it be awkward? Plus would they ACT like the character? I mean if you were having sex with an L Cosplayer wouldnt you be distracted if they started saying things like 'There is a 98% possibility of me achieving orgasm'?! I think this is a very sticky situation, no pun there people, and I think I should research it. Im going to ask the government for a monetry grant for The Investigative Work Of Cosplayer's Tits. Well it could work. Also I understand if any of you need a 15 minute break before reading the rest of the Thoughtings. Ye sick basterds.
The Train Drag
Well if you've not lost your erection yet then this shall do it for you - A story about a man getting stuck under a moving train, hooray. Now this is just an amazing story because not is it just like super super dangerous but its also amazing that he bloody survived. So this Canadian guy had been drinking with his friends in one of those big container type things on the backs of trains. Anyway the train started to move, the guys leg slipped through an opening and then suddenly wooosh - He was being dragged along the ground trapped in a train. Fucking ow. Whilst he was being dragged along the ground, though, he managed to phone up 911 to report that he was .. well that he was being dragged along the ground. Its amazing to think that whilst drunk and being dragged along the floor he could've phoned the police. Anyway the train dragged him for 3 fucking miles! He partially severed his foot but the police managed to stop the train and free the man. Anyway the policeman who actually helped get the guy out seems like a bit of a moron. Why? Well after the event he said the following: 'Trespassing, leading to misadventure, leading to ouch!'. OH COEM ON. Is that what really what you would say after seeing a guy getting dragged under a train for 3 miles with a fucked up foot? I'd probably say 'HOOOLY SHIT LOOK AT ALLL THE BLOOD. DAYMN YOU CAN SEE THE TENDONS AND MUSCLE. EEEEEW'. See thats the more natural reaction to the event.
Cats: The New Human Overlords
Scientists and Psychologists you really need to stop being so fucking obvious. Ive said on here before that when I did Psychology a lot of the studies were just really obvious things to say - Apart from they actually spent a lot of money researching it. Why? For shits and giggles I guess. Anyway whats the latest obvious thing that researchers have discovered? They've discovered that cats exploit humans. WELL NO FUCKING SHIT. I think we all realized this when we had a day devoted to pictures of cats in funny poses with hit and miss slogans put on them. Apparently this special type of purr incorporates a sort of cry meaning us humans are more likely to go and pet them or give them food or something. The research connected this sort of purr with people getting up and filling up the cat bowl and ive seen this - Its true. We all know that if cats are there and go MEOOOWWWWWWWW and wander around you going MEEOOOOOWWWWWWWWW they want some fucking food. We didnt need to pump money into coming to this conclusion, University of Sussex. Im actually quite stunned at how long the article is - This doctor, Doctor McComb [rofl] has wrote out all of this stuff in so much detail and I dont even know why. I mean is anyone actually interested in stuff that we already know? Well I suppose we have to be interested seeing how we actually know it. Wait this is a paradox. Wait what the fuck are we talking about, Oh I dont know. Theres basically only one conclusion to take from this, anyway.
Cats Are Awesome And Much Better Than Bloody Dogs
-micster x
P.S - If a certain person is reading this then get the fuck out of my life for fucks sake. |
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| Thought of the Day [13.07.2009] |
[Jul. 13th, 2009|09:00 pm] |
[13.07.2009]
Its Murder On The Court Floor [But You Better Not Kill The Groove]
Im pretty sure we've all thought about murdering someone. I mean not seriously as we're going to go over to Brixton and buy a 9MM for £60, I mean just imagining someone you despise just being dead. Actually this probably is showing me to be quite bad but im sure you knew that anyway. Anyway if like me [whilst playing a game of Hitman, of cause] you were plotting on how to kill someone and get away with it then im sure you thought of many a good route or effective weapon. Well obviously this one Russian guy has no concept of that at all. Which is surprising because Russia is basically a killzone. Now this story is immensely sad and shocking so all jokes stop here. Seriously all of them. So this woman was in the dock saying how this guy had insulted her for wearing a hijab after she asked him to let her son sit on a swing last year. Apparently he had been calling her a terrorist among other things. Basically he was a big ol' racist and this sort of thing happens a lot. I mean I was sitting in Birmingham Moor Street Station tother week waiting for J to go see Blood: The Last Vampire. And these two women came off a platform wearing hijabs and I looked to my right and there was two women on another bench and they were staring at them as if they were shit on there shoe. Anyway I dont think anyone would've predicted next. In the court room the accused then ran across the court room and stabbed the woman 18 times. How did he get a knife into court? Fuck knows! I went to court with Psychology earlier in the year and you get checked over with metal detectors and stuff. Anyway he was shot by a police officer but also the womans husband was shot because the police officer mistook him for the attacker. The husband is now in intensive care. But whats one of the worst things about this story? The 3 year old child was sitting there and saw it all. I mean fucking hell. Just a really messed up situation. Whoever didnt find that knife is gonna be fucked. But yeah. In Soviet Russia, Accused Stabs You. Well that wasnt very good.
夏恋★夏GAME PV
HOORAY! After quite literally 4 days of waiting, An Cafe's new video finally leaked onto the interwebs. And trust me thats a long wait - Usually you could go to sleep and wake up and there it is. There is a reason though as to why we've been having to wait, but i'll talk about that after. Now the song is called 夏恋★夏GAME. And if all your seeing is a load of question marks or squares then firstly install bloody Japanese on your computer. And secondly it translates out to Summer Love ★ Summer GAME. Now I wasnt sure what to expect. I mean the hilariously insane covers has a sex doll on them, so that was one strange thing. But actually thinking about the song I had no idea. I mean I guessed it'd be like SUMMER DIVE but then I read on Ameba blogs it was like ZETSUBOU and Kawasuya's Rock. Note thats probably the wrong spelling but I couldnt give a fook because I use the Kanji anyway. But I listened to the song and really it wasnt like any of them. It was just like new and really happy poppy type stuff. Does that mean its bad? wat hell naw you insane person, you. The video made me laugh HARD. Especially when it gets to like the 3 minute mark. So watch it. WATCH IT I SAY!
I dont know why the aspect ratio is so fucked, to be honest. Its like reallly fucked. Even in the original file. Anyway how fucking random is THAT. Loads of dancing which is bloody new for them AND a sex doll coming from the sky. Note to all artists - Putting an animu sex doll in your music video is immediately win. Now I said I was going to talk about the wait and its because Kanon asked it not to be put on the internet because of how its like a new direction and wasnt sure if people would like it. So basically now loads of fans are refusing to watch it and basically slyly calling all the fans who have watched it cunts by saying 'Wellll i'll be a proper fan and not watch it because he told us so' and all this sort of stuff. It got really heavy and I just have one thing to say to those people. Fuck you, you massive cunts. Im not going to wait for the two versions of the single to pop into my letterbox to see if its good or not. What if it was shit? I would've wasted my money for no reason then. You fucking self obsessed wannabe japanese up your arse cunts. I spit on you. No seriously, I spit on you. My monitor is a MESS right now.
The Blanket Situation [Guest Thought By Sora2522]
[Seeing how he did a good thought last week ive decided to let Terrik have a regular slot here on Thoughtings. So enjoy it, I know I do]
So, last Friday, my friends came over to my house early in the morning (about 8 o’clock or something). I was babysitting them, cuz their parents were working and we were gonna hang out later anyway. Since it was 8 o’clock in the frickin’ morning, naturally I was tired and cold. So I was lying on my couch where I normally lie (perfect place, cuz I have my laptop in front of me and the TV within viewing range) with a blanket over my body. We were watching Pushing Daisies s1 on DVD. My friend, who we shall call “Alice Kitty”, was cold and tired too (they had to wake up earlier to get to my house, cuz they live 20 minutes away). So she takes her place on my couch, except she’s lying on the other side. At that time there wasn’t a blanket available, unless we got up and looked for one, and really, would YOU go look for a separate blanket when there’s one readily available right in front of you?? So we shared blankets for the time being. My dad finally wakes up, does his thing, and gets ready to leave. He walks by the living room, where we’re camped out, and sees Alice Kitty and me sharing the same blanket, watching the TV. Fast forward to being in the car, my dad driving us to dinner (just us two. We got rid of my friends by then). My dad decides to tell me to be careful around “Alice Kitty”, especially not to fool around with her, hiding under the same blanket. Let me reiterate. “Do not fool around with ‘Alice Kitty’, hiding under the same blanket.” We weren’t HIDING under no effing blanket. We were merely using it to keep from freezing to death. Plus, this is “Alice Kitty”. She is the most innocent, adorablest little baby you will ever meet. NOT SOME LITTLE HORNY SEX FIEND D< (unlike our dear Micster here…)
Dads can be so strange sometimes…
Germany's Monkey Mistake
Is it me or does Germany just have the worst ideas ever. I mean we all remember World War 2, even if they dont, and it seems they havent learnt from that. I mean dont worry its not like they are killing people they dont think are apart of the arian race anymore. Instead they are playing on stereotypes and its only now they've realized it might have been a bit racist. Over in a zoo in Dresden they named a new born monkey Obama in March. Now I dont think it would be a good idea calling a monkey after the first black president because of the stereotypes as mentioned before. Anyway they've now changed it to Okeke after various pressure groups such as the Initiative for Black Germans told them that it needed to be changed. And of cause they were totally right. Im still laughing that someone thought that it was a good idea. The person who named the animal said that the name Obama would be a positive tribute to the US president. How exactly!? I mean fuck. I cant be too harsh on them though, Germany is a nice place. I mean ive only been once and think if I went again I'd be culled, but it was still a nice place.
Just Dont Mention The War.
-micster x |
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| Thought of the Day [12.07.2009] |
[Jul. 12th, 2009|09:00 pm] |
[12.07.2009]
Brb, Lol, Falling Down Manhole
Now as a blanket statement I'd like to say that I love texting. I hate actually phoning people and talking on the phone because of crippling self doubt and I just like hate it. I know, Im a strange lad. But texting? Awesome. My phone just went off informing me I have free texts next month, too. Get in. But you know whats a skill? Walking and Texting. Its perfectly possible but keeping your eye on the street, phone and potential cunts who need money for there crack habit it can be a challenge. I mean I can do it fine but it seems some people just epically fail. A 15 year old over in New York was walking with her friend and she was texting. Then suddenly she fell into an OPEN MANHOLE. Yes she literally walked straight into it and fell into five foot deep sewerage. Fucking LOLED. She said that because of the peoples careless mistake by not having a cone there she got hurt. WELL MAYBE IF YOU LOOKED AT THE FUCKING ROAD. But the worst thing is how the stupid fucking cunt 'might sue' the company. Her mom said 'It could have been an elderly person, a mother pushing a stroller. It could have been anyone'. I dont think old people or mothers with a baby would be texting and laughing about boys and The Jonas Brothers [im guessing what a 15 year old girl would be saying]. This is just completely her fault, theres no denying that. If she did try and sue the company I am pretty sure nothing would happen. They might get a slap on the wrist for not putting a cone but she'd just be laughed out of court. She apparently lost a trainer in the sewer but for some reason, she doesnt want it back. Anyway im not finished badgering her yet. Theres a picture of her from the local TV video and I dont think shes actually washed since the incident. Also she has big teeth. Pot calling the kettle black? Nae. Just me calling someone a twat who deserves it.
Death Note: Another Note
Now you most probably know by now that im quite the big Death Note fan now. If you dont know then I am quite a big Death Note fan now. Ive seen the series, watched the films and making my way through the manga. BUT a few months back I read about how there was a novel based before the series and manga about some murder case in LA. 'Sounds interesting' I thought. I saw the book at the expo but it was then I also saw it had very little content. 180ish pages with all the text in the middle with a lot of space around the outside. So I thought 'naw I wont buy that' and put it back on the shelf. But then a while later I saw it for half the price on Amazon. So I snatched it up. Over the past few days I read it all [as I said it was a short book] and I think I need to say what I think about it. Why? Because its just .. Well you'll see if you read on. Now theres one giant positive - The book is actually quite gorgeous. Its like really nice with this outer cover type thing partly over it and .. its hard to explain so thats why pictures were invented.
So yeah its got all this nice silver stuff on it to. But enough niceites, im known for being a bastard and bast I shall. Quite simply the book is just boring. Full of puzzles and retcons to Kira because of how that guy who was in the latter part of the anime [The part I like to call 'The bit where it all went rather shit'] 'wrote' it. But even worse is how they just shovel Death Note stuff into the story just so fans will go OOOH. For example the killer is the detective Naomi works with and we think he's L but hes not and blah thats retarded anyway. Anyway this killer has Shinigami Eyes. WHY? WHO KNOWS. So he could find people who had the initials B.B and Q.Q. Why was this written in? It could've been explained in one sentence 'Beyond Birthday opened up the phone book and ran his finger down the listings until he found another victim' SEE! Actually thats something I wanted to know, Why are these peoples name stupid stuff like 'Quarter Queen'. Im pretty sure noone in America is so retarded to call there child that. The worst thing though is how amazing the ending is. Its just fantastic, if a bit waffly. But that doesnt excuse the rest being mediocre. I guess what im saying is dont believe all the 5 stars on Amazon cos there fuckin liars.
Gay People Kissing?! GET DA POLICE
Another day, Another homophobic incident. Apart from this one is in a taco restaurant so those like minded to me can have a giggle because Tacos are alike to vayjays and of cause gay people prefer bratwurst. Anyway it happened in Texas so its not thaat surprising. Anyway these 5 guys were in the restaurant and two of the guys kissed. Then they were then asked to leave and one of the guards said that 'they didnt allow that faggot stuff' in the restaurant. So the guys called up the police and the police did pretty much fuck all. Apparently other customers complained but I doubt that. 'Every business has the right to refuse service' well then I think we can all say that every customer has the right to throw bricks at your chef when he makes shit food. Apparently the city does have anti discrimination laws but the policeman just couldnt be fucked to do anything about it. Maybe the security guard was a lot bigger than him or he once had a gay experience when young and didnt want to bring up his lost love in his mind. There is another similar article about some guys that got banned from some temple or some shit like that but basically I can conclude on both of them without looking at the information. Everyone just needs to be a lot more tolerant. If it was two lesbians sitting there then would anyone have complained? No of cause not! I think its interesting reading these articles especially now Bruno has come out. See I unfortunately havent seen the film yet but I read an article about how he did some of the things. There is a scene where Bruno is in a bar and kisses a guy and then the locals went completely bat shit insane and started throwing chairs and stuff. Apparently people are walking out of the showings because of stuff about anal sex and apparently theres a penis on screen for something like 4 minutes. Its very interesting to see because of cause we can say that anyone who sees that and is so offended they walk out must have some niggling little thought in the back of there minds that they like bums. Its like that psychology study - Homophobes react to gay porn in there crotch more than people who are tolerant of all. I still say theres one thing that can be done to homophobes though. And thats to get a flamethrower and burn them all. Maybe then we'd have a better society.
MILF Auctioning?
I dont understand people who like mothers. As in sexually that is. I have never looked at a so called MILF and thought to myself 'phwarr i'd like a bit of that used guttering'. They are always old and hagged looking. And thats not the best sight when your trying to get your rocks off. Unless your pissed, I guess. Anyway an 18 year old called Michael [gah] from New Zealand [phew] had an argument with his mother and cleaned out the garage. When there he found five photos of his mom naked. So what did he do? Well he started an online auction called 'Five naked photos of my mum' of cause. Anyway she found out and she wasnt even pissed - She was fine with it as long as she got some of the money. Wow what a whore. Anyway apparently they were quite artistic. But even stranger is the fact that they were taken 'by a family friend about eight years ago'. Im sorry guy but your mom's a whore. Anyway she said she misses the nice comments she received [Then become a stripper, you'll get compliments then]. But the auction was removed by the company because they didnt want to 'be the place where people list photos of their mums in their underwear'. Wait she wasn even naked?! DIGITAL SPY YOUR HEADLINES HAVE LIED TO ME ONCE AGAIN. Anyway I think this is all just really weird, like lets think about this. A guy found pics of his mom in lingery or something and didnt kept hold of them? Now I dont want to say incest but seeing how it was New Zealand then yeah .. incest.
I Wonder If The Father Is A Sheep ...
-micster x
P.S - I found out that the Disneyland wedding I posted last night was just a publicity stunt. Thank fuck for that, maybe we're not all doomed after all. |
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| Thought of the Day [11.07.2009] |
[Jul. 11th, 2009|09:00 pm] |
[11.07.2009]
"And To Your Right, The Cabin Crew Performing Cunnilingus"
What would you do on a plane? Like if it was a reallly long flight. See ive said before how ive never been on a plane but I think i'd be bored out my mind. I mean my iPod would probably die so that'd leave me pretty fucking bored. I could always read a bookaAAHAHAHA. No. Well over in New Zealand, one flight company is trying to combat boredom at the beginning of the flight and im pretty sure this is going to work. Which is quite odd because I didnt actually knew they thought about stuff other than cricket. Well anyway you know safety demonstrations//videos? Well this one airline got its staff to strip off and so in the safety demonstration the crew just wore body paint and certain objects hid certain areas. I mean this just opens it up to many a line. 'To deploy your parachute pull on this .. NO NOT THAT!'. And if you didnt get that then I was talking about penis. Anyway apparently the clip is on Youtube so I was thinking 'ohohoho from the way this article is talking about it, this is gunna be hilarious and awesome in equal measures. It was neither of these things. Take a look.
That wasnt sexy! Informative yes and im guessing thats what its there for, but fucking hell. The way the article worded it, it was like there was only a bit of body paint. But they were painted all over. The only actual proper nudity we saw was that fat arse crack at the end when it started going out of focus. Im disappointed in you, New Zealand. I do think other airlines should do this thing too though. Especially a Japanese airline. Because we all know how Japanese ladies are jumpy so at least then theres more of a chance we'd see some boob. Sexy boob at that, too.
The Fox News Retardation Continues!
Now ive been sitting on an article for a while waiting for a day I could talk about it. But then last night I saw another article from Fox News which was just so ridiculoous I HAD to talk about it. So i'll talk about the two of them and how its just .. ridiculous. Now ive spoke about good ol' Fox News before and how they are all insane idiots - But its even clearer now. So first article. Apparently people from Sweden dont get Dementia. A Fox News anchor thinks he has come up with a reason as to why that is. Apparently people from Sweden only marry other Swedes and so because they dont cross breed, thats why they dont get diseases. So basically this guy is saying that because Americans get with other ethnic people thats why Americans can get Dementia?! He literally sat there on live TV and said that genes get infected meaning more diseases. His co anchors were looking at him as if to say WAT ARE YOU SAYING, SHUT UP! And you know you must be a fucking insane person if other people working at Fox News think your a moron. The second article isnt as serious as that cunt, though. Instead this is just a woman who is just completely insane and probably has never reached orgasm in her life. She's apparently the Fox Sexpert and what did she come out and say 'Orgasm isnt all that its cracked up to be.' EXCUUUUUSE ME? So alright she didnt say they were bad, she said they are an 'amazing experience' but we've apparently been 'brainwashed into thinking its the maximum [experience], but its obviously not'. So no I was right the first time, she definitely hasnt had a proper orgasm before. Why? Because her massive moments are when her and her husband exchanged wedding vows and when she gave birth to her first child. Tell me, readers, which would you prefer. Orgasming or Getting Married or Giving Birth. See for the latter you mostly have to orgasm to get the child but you can orgasm all the time. You cant be lying in bed awake at 4 in the morning and then just suddenly get married or give birth to get a thrill. 'While ive had some out of this world orgasms, I personally think that a good laugh gives orgasm a run for its money' FUCKING WAT? I laughed a LOT when I saw Jimmy Carr live but it was nothing like a fucking orgasm. It made my mouth hurt, though.
Girl At The Video Game Store
When you think gamers what sort of stereotypes do you think of. Im sure you can think of many, if your one yourself then im sure you can think of even worse ones because if your like me your superior to the fat basement dwelling WoW players. Now over in America they have a TV Station called G4 which shows Gaming programs. I mean it showed E3 live for fucks sake, I would love a channel like that over here rather than depending on rather dodgy online screens which cut out when you think you see Hideo Kojima entering the stage. Anyway the channel on the surface seems fine, but ive seen clips of it before and some of there programming seems a bit ... eccentric. I mean you've got the stereotypical attractive female reading lines of a script and then pretending to play a game so all the viewers at home can think of analogies such as 'Ooh err I'd love to input the Konami Code into her Cheat Screen'. I mean I once saw her lick a games console. Im sorry but thats too far, surely. She should do it with a 360 - See how long it takes for her tongue to catch fire. Anyway im sort of going off topic. Im wanting to rage about something they have made. For one of there programs 1000th episode they hired the guy who did the song to Buffy to write a song for them which is called Video Game Girl [Though im calling it Girl At The Video Game Store cos thats basically the lyrics]. This is horrid and sickening. When I saw it I wanted to claw my eyes out with a rusty dildo. [Can dildos get rusty? I dont know, Just watch this abomination]
I mean what the fuck. When I started watching it, it was bad yeah. But then suddenly we got into bad green screen CG Bollocks of her as a video game character and just .. what is this. Its like saying to nerds across the land 'You see that hot bird in the game store? No you dont you fucking liar BECAUSE THEY DONT FUCKING EXIST'. Prove me wrong, Internet. Prove me wrong.
Most Sickening Thing You'll Ever See
Now I thought Girl At The Video Game Store was pretty fucking bad and when I saw it yesterday I thought nothing could be worse than it. But then in the evening I saw something so horrid .. Dont worry its not gore or anything. Its true that theres many a sickening thing on the internet which would make you up chucks, but this is like the sickening as in peoples happiness and shit like that. Let me just evaluate whats going on in the video because I think if you watch it you'll just be violently sick on your keyboard. AND THAT WOULDNT BE VERY GOOD WOULD IT. Gives a whole new meaning to 'Sticky Keys' anyway. So this guy is at Disneyland with his Girlfriend and then pulls out a megaphone thing and proposes to her. But then cast members come out and the guy starts singing and this whole song and dance routine just happens. It really is just a huge fucking mindfuck. I have many a question about this but that'll be after you see it and clean off your keyboard.
Right how much would that have fucking cost? I mean gawd daymn. Also wouldnt it have just been fucking hilarious if she had just turned around and said 'No cos im fucking your brother/best friend' [Delete as appropriate]. But the thing is the worst thing about that video isnt even the actual event. Its one of the little shits afterwards who goes 'Its not every day you see someone get married on main street'. THEY DIDNT GET MARRIED YOU FUCKING MORON, THEY GOT ENGAGED. Christ im sorry America but whats happening to you education system.
I Thought You Had A Good Guy In Charge Now!
-micster x |
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| Thought of the Day [10.07.2009] |
[Jul. 10th, 2009|09:00 pm] |
[10.07.2009]
Im Batm-ARGH!
You know what would make this world a nicer place? If superheroes actually existed. I mean imagine if you just got pushed out a window by some fiend and were falling and going to die and then DUN DUN DUN DUNNN! Spiderman swoops down to save you. Hooray you'd be alive and not dead. But like there would be a lot less crime if they existed. I mean look at the original Batman - Criminals stopped doing crime cos of how the Batman symbol was in the sky. But the thing is some people dress up as super heroes and ruin this image of a perfect utopian place to live for us all. Over in Times Square people dressed up as Superman and Batman and started fighting together, I think. The article is so badly written its fucking hard to work out what exactly is fucking going on. Anyway the police approached the two and asked if they had a license to perform in costume in public. They said no and so they tried to handcuff Batman. Superman ran off screaming 'Im not getting arrested!' and the crowd of onlookers pounced on him to subdue him. Hooray. Anyway apparently a female cop tried to subdue him and he hit her in the face. So from this we can take it that Superman is a Supercunt. Anyway Batman was let free but Superman is goin doooown. See I think it would've been great to just be standing around seeing that. I mean imagine if you were in the New York subway and you were still alive and you just saw Batman come up beside you and get onto the same tram as you. I know what I'd be thinking, I'd be like whaat the foooook. Then my brain would probably seep out my ears going 'Yeah you've cracked, im off'. But I dont see why you need a special license to perform in public. I mean come on they were just entertaining people. Nothing wrong with that. Well alright Superman did then hit a female cop in the face. I think this just goes to show that Batman is and always will be superior. Until fathers for justice dress up as him again and make a complete tit of themselves.
Wii Shall Walk Away
GAMERS! LISTEN UP! We need to fight for our gaming rights! How? Its simple, We Kill The Wii. I have a Wii and its true, its pretty fucking shit. If it wasnt for gleaming gems like Disaster: Day Of Crisis, Red Steel and Onechanbara Revoultion then I'd probably show it my middle finger and get rid of it. [Though probably not seeing how its hacked meaning I dont have to buy the shit they put out for it to demean it]. And I think its getting really quite ridiculous how much shit they are actually bringing out for it. I mean theres stuff like Wii Music and Wii Play but now its gone that step further. Konami [You know, The Konami who do things like Castlevania and Metal Gear] are releasing a Wii Game called 'Walk It Out'. And what do you do? You walk . . . Im not even taking the piss, all you do is walk and like you have to do certain steps in order or some shit like that but I think most of us know how to fucking walk now. You can use the Balance Board or the DDR mat. But most strangely you can use the Wiimote and Nunchuk. to control it. Surely that just means pressing up all the times. I really dont get it, I mean your just a 3D avatar is just walking. It doesnt even say you can use your sodding Mii's. But the thing is I only just saw the trailer. This thing .. is just .. so laughably bad. Just look at this.
Your just walking to music. Thats quite literally all your doing. 'To get in shape' yeah cos walking on the spot is REALLY going to do that. Why dont you and your family just go for a fucking actual walk in the country or something. 'Listen to over 100 of your favorite tracks'. Oh really? So im expecting Ayumi Hamasaki's Startin' and An Cafe's Snow Scene to be on the playlist then. I DONT THINK SO. How has it got to this. Walking in your living room to a 3D environment. I walk to my favorite music all the time. Its called my legs, the outdoors and an iPod. Its like a Birthday Wii 'game' came out which came with like PAPER HATS and stuff. Basically everyone who develops these things for the Wii need to have there testicles ripped off and fed to Gary Glitter.
Doing A David Carradine
Before I start speaking I hope no one is getting offended by that title. Its just a turn of phrase. And if you are offended then welcome to ThoughtoftheDay. Now yesterday I talked about retarded English people and how society was going to shit cos the youth are morons. You know stuff along those lines. But I was talkin to a friend of mine from over in Americaland yesterday and she was saying about a trend that is getting quite popular over there. And honestly it was one of the most dangerous and retarded things I have ever heard that people do. I mean im echoing what she said here but if I knew someone who did it then I'd just like fall out big time with them. So the clever of you out there might have guessed what it is by the headline. If not then allow me to inform you. Apparently over in America its now getting big to strangle each other until the point of passing out for a thrill. And even worse - Hanging for a bit to get the same effect. As in quite literally putting your head through a noose and hanging to get some sort of thrill. This is fucking dangerous and thats not just me saying that, people have quite obviously died from doing it. Do you think that stops the little shits? Of cause not. When did cutting get unpopular over in America? Is it that the youth of today are too scared of pain and would rather be strangled for a high whilst listening to there My Cunticle Romance? I personally dont see the attraction of it and no im not going to try because im not that much of a retard. See over here we've got teen pregnancy a lot and over there they have strangling each other to get high. There both fucking stupid but at least something good can come out of being strangled to get high. Nothing good could come of giving birth to a little shit when your 14. Anyway I think it evens out anyway. In America the retards are dying meaning its building up a future of non retards, but over here retards are giving birth to retard offspring. So I guess what im saying is that due to both these things the retard scale is always evened out. What a world we fucking live in.
A Chocolaty Demise
HANDS UP IF YOU LIKE CHOKLIT! Im going to assume your all putting your hands up because if you dont like Chocolate then you must be some sort of mythical being [Much like a fanbase for me would be, sarcastic el oh el] And I know that some people have said that they'd love to just be smothered with Chocolate. But you wouldnt cos a man died like that. Well sort of. Over in a chocolate processing plant a guy fell into a vat of hot chocolate. He didnt die of burns or drowning, though. He hit his head off the paddle thing which goes round and round the chocolate. See I mean if it happened to me, the chocolate wasnt hot and I didnt hit my head I think that'd be pretty awesome. Just like swimming around in chocolate. How fun and dangerous would that be! But the thing is when I read this article I just think of a couple of things. One of them being Willy Wonka but the other being what happens to the chocolate? I mean do they have to dump all of the chocolate now? I mean if they sold massive slabs of chocolate and it was like a third the price just cos someone died in it, would you buy it? Personally im not sure. Ive not heard of the company so that means there either fantastic and do posh chocolate, or really cheap and thats why the guy fell in cos they couldnt afford guard rails. Ah I just read that it was churning chocolate for Hershey's at the time so thats alright. American chocolate tastes like shit compared to superior British stuff. Dont lie it does and you know it does. So yeah if you see Hershey's chocolate going for cheap with a long sell by date then just imagine someone may have died in what your consuming.
Then Shrug And Eat It Cos It Doesnt Matter, Its Still Chocolate
-micster x |
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| Thought of the Day [09.07.2009] |
[Jul. 9th, 2009|09:00 pm] |
[09.07.2009]
"Ooh Yeah Baby. So How About That Situation In Iran"
Man has sex with woman. Or Woman has sex with Woman. Or Man has sex with Man. Or, if your extremely strange, Woman has sex with Dog. Theres a lot of porn out the interwebs - Some normal and some just wrooooong. I mean who wants to see a horse get some!? Maybe other horses but I dont think they can use the internet. Now be honest with me. Do you own a porn DVD? Im guessing almost every one of you are saying no. But have you seen it on the internet? Im guessing most of you are going noooooooooo and shifting your eyes because your lying. Apparently because of us watching porn on the internet its ruining the industry. Apparently now the attention span is only 3 to 5 minutes meaning porn DVD sales and rentals have gone down 50%. I can understand this, who exactly wants to go out and buy a porn DVD. It means you'd have to look at the person in the eye when buying it. And if you imported some from Japan then you best like seeing a pixelated phallus being inserted into a pixelated entry. Though cos of the pixelisation it could just look like a very small carrot being put into a pot. So the industry is pissed because of how now porn has no plot. Does porn need a plot? Hell no. If I see some with plot I just wind it forward because of how false and shit it sounds and feels. Porn Actresses are not good whatsoever. So why are they complaining that porn doesnt have plots? There all bloody stereotypical, anyway. I mean if they really want plots in porn then I think they should have news based porn. "Oh Yeah, Oh Yeah, Im gonna cum baby" "Oh no not on my bedsheets!" "Thats fine, Your an MP, You can claim for new ones on your expenses". Ye see! That'd work! It'd be incredibly distracting and would probably make you laugh whilst you ejaculate but its a plot! MP Barebacking: The Expenses Frontier.
Jackson Memorial Strangeness
Now as a point to remember - I didnt watch the Michael Jackson Memorial thing. Why? Because I dont want to feel like a specter at the feast. Yes its sad that Michael died and I did an entry about it the day after he died. Its a sad thing but I think its just going a bit too far. Every day we are seeing more and more news articles coming out about his past or about his family arguing about where he's to be buried. But im just going to talk about the memorial. I dont know exactly what happened in it cos I didnt watch it but I read an article today and ... it just seemed really odd. Now if your a fellow Englander then you probably saw Britains Got Talent. Now maybe you remember the singer Shaheen. He wasnt very good and sickened me but thats probably cos im a jaded cunt. Anyway im reading that he performed 'Whos Lovin You' at the memorial. Why? Im pretty sure MJ didnt write in his will 'I want that kid from Britains Got Talent to sing at my memorial'. Well actually depending on what you think of the kiddy fiddling rumors then possibly. Anyway this Shaheen was saying how Stevie Wonder was playing with him backstage and being all fun with him [Im not gonna make a pedo joke, you can do that yourself] but he said how he was singing and how Michael was lying infront of him whilst he sang. Was it an open coffin?! I mean if you were a kid then wouldnt you like shit yourself if the corpse of a dead legend was staring at you whilst you sang his song?! Maybe it wasnt an open coffin, that'd make more sense, but it still seemed overblown. But I think im being too serious - People mourn in other ways, I know that moreso than some others. But you then remember it was televised live and its a bit like eeh. Anyway I'd like to post the Jackson Memorial Song by Kunt and The Gang. It makes me fucking laugh but if you read the comments then you'll see morons being all high and mighty. Which is entertaining, but not as much as the song / video is.
Bloody fantastic. Anyway im wondering if the media circus will let his family mourn properly now. I doubt it somehow but you never know. The media could be nice. HAHAHAHA no.
The Jeremy Kyle Effect
This country is fucked. That is official. You look at the news and see stuff about knife crime and all that shite and then you turn on ITV1 in the morning and see 18/19 year olds who slept with 6 men and dont know who the father of there child is. Yes good old Jeremy Kyle, it used to be quite entertaining when younger to laugh at the downfall of other people. But now its just getting more and more real and its getting quite bad now. So I think ive come up with whats wrong with this country and its called The Jeremy Kyle Effect. But firstly let me use an example of this effect before I fully explain it. I was on lastfm yesterday and looked at this 17 year old girls profile who added me earlier in the year cos we were going to the same gig or something like that. Anyway firefox pissed up and went down to the bottom of the page and froze. So whilst it froze I read the shoutbox and there was normal stuff but then there was someone saying he was sorry that she had split up with her boyfriend. And then one after that being like oh . . . So I was interested as to what gave that reaction. I looked on the guys profile and I couldnt believe what I read [and this is a direct quote] 'It's fine. He dumped me coz I cheated on him right in front of him. I'm such a bitch :)' And the guy asked if she regretted doing it and she went 'Nopeeeeeeeeeee, lmao'. I was just sitting there going like 'What the fuck is going on here'. So she cheated on a guy INFRONT of her boyfriend and shows no compassion for it. Now I myself have been fucked over so I can only imagine how shit it made that guy feel. So now to get onto my theory. The Jeremy Kyle Effect. We see on TV all these whores talking about having all these guys and stuff and being pregnant but these people are only a minority of people. But because of it being talked about in normal conversation our minds perceive it as actually not that bad of a thing to do. The country gets this image in there mind of common people being immediately alike to those in the Jeremy Kyle show [or even Springer or Trisha] so we take the ideas from the shows and they get integrated into real life because its portrayed to us as not that bad of a thing to do. I mean its extremely possible that this is whats happening. I mean maybe the people in Britain are just becoming cunts and thats what made Jeremy Kyle's show a success. Either way it means twats like me who just want a nice person to be with are shown a huge middle finger. HOORAY FOR BRITAIN.
Decisive Sperm
Attention hot girls - Make sure you use protection when having some sexy sexings. I mean of cause you should be using protection anyway no matter what I say, but a new study that has come out has proven that you've got more of a chance of being pregnant. Yes somehow sperm can now think for itself and if your hot then it means they will try harder to inseminate you. THIS DOESNT EVEN MAKE SENSE. Apparently it depends on the guy and how 'into it' he gets and the report used a great phrase called 'double firing'. It just makes me think of sperms with sawn off shotguns. Though that'd be impossible, I think you'd notice if your sperm had a gun. I mean you'd have to pass it through for one. Anyway the report is all very sciency so I dont really know what most of it is talking about, but lets be honest, its mostly probably bullshit anyway. Especially as a lot of the study was done in Australia. Now im not saying Australians are thick, but ... Well alright maybe I am, but I just wouldnt trust them to do an investigation on my ejaculate. Unless they were hot themselves- ahhh alright now I get it. But even though im very much into believing science because, lets be honest, God and all that shit is just bullshit, this study doesnt actually explain one key point:
Explain Ugly Pregnant Girls, Science!
-micster x |
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